Welcome Home
by mightyfinebear
Summary: There's a hot doctor in town and his name is Connor Rhodes, everyone wants a quick look at "Rambo" but he only has eyes for one little nurse: April Sexton.
1. Welcome Home

"All better, I would give you the rundown of aftercare treatment but obviously you have that knowledge Dr. Rhodes," April said as she threw away her dirty gloves and began making her way to the exit.

Dr. Rhodes slowly put his shirt back on and looked to the pretty nurse who had assisted him but she was gone. His arm tingled a bit and he got up to figure out where she went. He didn't get too far before he ran into Maggie.

"Hi, it's Margaret right?" he asked.

She smiled and raised an eyebrow, "Call me Maggie hun," she continued smiling as she spoke to the doctor, all the women smiled when they spoke to him.

He was the new shiny toy that had caused a whirlwind to the ER but one woman had left an impression on him.

"Dr. Rhodes what can I do for you?" Maggie implored.

"Um it's just Connor, I'm off call right now, I was actually looking for a nurse, curly hair in a low bun; have you seen her?" He looked a little a sheepish at asking.

"Oh you mean April well I think she is heading home if you go to the nurses locker room you could probably find her."

Maggie walked off and picked up a chart before disappearing behind a curtain to talk to a patient.  
Connor took off walking realizing he had no idea where the nurse's lounge or locker room was. He had only been to the resident's areas but he had to find her. Then it hit him. What was he going to say to her? She sped by him so fast, as he was deep in thought looking into the abyss of guy-meets-girl-guy-has-nothing-to-say-to-girl, that she bumped into the shoulder she had help repair.

"Oww!" He breathed it more than he yelled it but it didn't change the fact that it hurt like hell. That tingling feeling came back.

"Dr. Rhodes! I'm so sorry, are you okay?" April's cheeks burned a bit as she looked at his arm and put her hand to it.

When he lifted his gaze from the tingling feeling he realized he didn't see her because he didn't recognize her. Her hair was free and loose a large mass of curls wild and beautiful each coil and curve reflected the light highlighting the auburn, black and even a hint of red amongst the ebony waves. His eyes followed her skin, soft, and warm almost perfect. Her large doe eyes met his and she smirked.

"Um- Dr. Rhodes, I asked if you're okay?"

She was still smirking and but the red burned a bit more into her cheeks. He blinked and stepped back a bit.

"Yeah I'm fine, it's Connor by the way, please, call me Connor. I'm off of work and I haven't been in the city long, I was looking for _you_ actually; to see if you wanted to have dinner or grab a drink or do both?"

His own cheeks filled as he fumbled with the invitation.

"That's really kind of you to ask but I don't date co-workers," she answered definitively.

"Oh, well okay, um, okay well have a great night anyway April," Connor said feeling defeated and little embarrassed.

Connor sped away trying to hide his humiliation at being denied. No one had ever said no to him colleague or otherwise. Women were always throwing themselves at him either for his family name or just at the fact that he was a doctor but not April. He thought to himself that she had a point, he had just return to Chicago, and he was new to the hospital and he should just focus on work and being professional. He could do that.

…

April was hooking an I.V. bag up to a patient's arm when she heard the loud command for a crash cart in bed twelve. Going into her zone she grabbed a cart and rushed into the room. The doctor was bent over doing chest compression's.  
"Crash cart!" April yelled.  
"Over here!" Connor yelled.  
The patient continued to flat- line.  
"Push one of epi," Connor commanded.  
April filled the vile and pushed the syringe into the patient's I.V. Dr. Rhodes pushed the paddles back onto the patient's chest but the long beeping sound continued.  
"Push two of epi!" Dr. Rhodes commanded.  
"He's been down for 10 minutes Dr. Rhodes," April said gently.  
"I said push two of epi _nurse_ Sexton!" Connor hissed at April.  
"Pushing two of epi" said a defeated April.  
The long beeping sound continued as Dr. Rhodes pushed again and again on the patient's chest. April stood to the side as she saw Connor finally stop chest compressions.  
"Time of death, 18:45." Connor threw away his gloves and walked out.  
April hated days like this when it didn't feel like they could do enough or even anything to stop the misery of pain; of life. This was definitely a night for drinking.

"Hey Maggie, Nat you guys up for a drink?" April asked.

"I wish I could but I told Carol I pull a shift for her, she's still dealing with family problems," Maggie answered shrugging her shoulders.

"Well how about you Nat?" April pushed her bottom lip out and made a puppy dog face.

"Oh, I would but, I'm exhausted the baby has a cold and I've asked enough of Jeff's mom this week," Natalie said apologetically.

April's shoulder slumped and she pouted.

"I guess I'm going alone then," April said defeated.

When she entered the bar the music was low, casual rock, the place wasn't busy not for a few people at the tables and a couple playing pool in the corner. April walked up to the bar.

"Can I have whiskey sour?" The bartender nodded as April pulled her bag to the bar top and opened it.

"Put it on my tab," said a voice from around the corner. It was Dr. Rhodes.

"Uh- thanks but it's really not necessary," April said.

"No it is, I snapped at you earlier today and that was really unfair, he was the third one today." Connor shot back the last of his whiskey and put his finger up for another shot.

"Actually make that two" April said, "We've all been there and it sucks and it never gets easier but as long as you know you did everything you could there's nothing to feel guilty about, and don't worry about snapping at me, we nurses are used to worse." April smirked and took the shot.

"Is that why you don't date co-workers?" Connor smirked back at her before he took the shot.

"Oh god, no it's just a rule, doctors don't have a lot of respect as it is for nurses so once you start sleeping with them it muddies the waters as well as turns the other nurses against you."

He slid closer to her. "So what you're saying is that you don't want to be hospital gossip, remain professional, and keep your integrity among the nurses," Connor was staring right into those big doe eyes of hers. It made her feel out of control, she hadn't really locked eyes with him like this.

"Yes, basically," April said weakly. _Wow his eyes are really sexy_. She thought to herself.

Connor looked around the room and bit his bottom lip before saying,

"And what if no one knew?" he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.  
…

April's purse hit the floor as she and Connor stumbled into her apartment. Her lips kissing his as her back hit the wall. They both laughed as they slid to the floor. He stopped and looked at her.  
"You are so beautiful," Connor said in awe as he caressed her soft curls and slowly made his way down her shirt and then under it cupping a breast in his hand.

He brought his mouth to it letting his tongue swirl around her nipple. April let out a moan. The other hand slid into her jeans finding her sex and rubbing his finger around her clit and then thrusting his middle finger inside her while his thumb continued to focus on her clit. April moaned pushing her hips into hands. His mouth found her neck and her ears nibbling and kissing them slowly.

"Oh... my... god" April could feel herself crashing over and over onto his hands.

Connor took her hips and grinded into them, letting her know the next step he wanted to take.

"Do you want to do this?" Connor whispered into her ear while kissing her neck.

April got up and slid her jeans to the floor and took her shirt off. She unhooked her bra. She stood there in her panties and smiled at him. She turned revealing the thong underwear and two pert butt cheeks as she walked down the hallway to her room. She turned to him and said,

"Well c'mon."

Connor smiled and got up excitedly took off his shirt and went to follow her into her room. When he came in April was on her bed lying on her side she got up onto her knees revealing all of her save a pair of panties. He walked up to her and they resumed kissing. She kissed him down his neck and his stomach unzipping his pants and shimmying them down his legs. Feeling down his boxers she continued kissing his stomach until she found what she wanted and took him into her mouth. Connor let out a gasp. April let him go as far as he could to the back of her throat running her tongue up the shaft.

"I won't last long if I let you continue that, and I want to remember this." He pushed her on the bed, "Savor it."

He centered himself between her legs and began thrusting himself inside her. April's grunts were a mix of pain and pleasure. Each thrust filling her up and pushing a part of herself she didn't think was there but kept being explored.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked looking at April. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"Yeah I'm okay."

"You feel amazing," Connor breathed into her ear, he picked up speed but then stopped and flipped her on her stomach.

"Move to your knees," he commanded.

His mouth met her sex as she moaned.

"Oh…oh my god"... April let out through baited breaths, "I'm going to come," April screamed.

She spilled into his mouth as he came up and slid himself into her again. Slowly watching himself inside her, moaning as he could feel himself get closer. He grabbed her hips and slammed them into his faster and faster watching her pert backside bounce off his hips.

"Oh my god I'm going to come April," he said almost in epiphany.

Each pulse released a wave of ecstasy from his body and ultimately into hers. He gripped her hips.

"Oh my god….shit…. I'm sorry," he said as he continued releasing himself into before he collapsed.

"Why?" she asked as she turned herself over.

"I didn't put on a condom," he said; the reality sinking into him and taking over any post-coital serenity.

"Shit," she said concisely.

To be continued...


	2. Oops

"Um ok, uh are you on the pill or any other form of birth control?" Connor sat up and turned to her.

"No, I haven't been dating much,I'm Catholic we don't do this kind of stuff….I don't do this kind of stuff!" _Shit. Shit. Shit._

April hastily looked around and grabbed her robe from the floor and ran into the bathroom. The shower had already started when Connor had his pants back on and was looking for his shirt and phone. He had just finished confirming his Uber reservation when April glistening from the shower hair pinned up, curls both frizzy and messy sat atop her head like a scoop of ice cream. Stunning. She headed toward the kitchen and snatched down her calendar and frantically began looking through the dates. Connor's eyes widen when he realized what she was doing.

"Wait?!...Don't tell me you practice the rhythm method!?" Connor said astonished.

She shot him a cold look and began counting the days.

"Jesus I thought my family was delusional, but...god April we're medical professionals, that method is so flawed and archaic!" He continued as he bent down grabbing his shirt from the floor in the hallway.

"You know I don't think I need to justify my beliefs or my decisions to someone that didn't even think to put on a condom!" April snapped back.

Connor's phone pinged.

"I can handle this, it's obvious you got what you came for and now your ride is here so you should probably be on your way." April looked back down.

Connor let out a loud exhale and walked to the door. The slam was loud. April moved to her couch and curled up. She laid the calendar down. She was three days into her regular ovulation schedule so there was chance a sad horrible chance that the good looking doctor that she said no to could be the father of a baby out of wedlock. She put her head down and closed her eyes sleep came very easily as the alcohol pulled her into her slumber.

Work arrived far too quickly the next day. April got up and thought about seeing if she could get someone to switch shifts with her.

" _Naw, hell naw, I'm an amazing nurse and I don't even know if he works today."_ She thought to herself.

April grabbed her bag with her scrubs and strolled out of the door. She headed to the nurses locker room and got dressed. " _I'll check in with Maggie, get on my first cases do the charts then I will piggyback my first supply run with a trip to the pharmacy and get a Plan B…take it and then burn in hell if my family finds out."_ She said talking to herself, she was so lost in thought she didn't notice the yelling.

"April… APRIL!" The yells were in unison and they were coming from Maggie and Dr. Choi.

"Eleven needs an I.V. and Dr. Choi needs you to order CT's for bed three and seven, girl where are you today?" Maggie looked April up and down and handed her the chart.

"Sorry a little too much fun last night, I'm good.. uh eleven." April spun around and headed to the bed.

"Hi I'm April, I'm just going to give you some fluids and then the doctor should be back to go over your test results, alright?"

April smiled at the elderly woman and slipped the needle into her arm. She headed to her next bed and got the chart. She began typing the order for the CT when she heard the voice attached to the face she was hoping not to see.

"I think we should order an ultrasound for the stomach and piggyback a chest CT with the head CT."  
April's cheeks reddened and her heart paced quickened.

"You keep saying we but this is my patient Dr. Rhodes!" Dr. Halstead's voice carried and April stopped what she was doing.

"Yes but this is the child of my patient and her blood pressure is only stable because she believes that her daughter is stable and will _remain_ stable," Connor said insisting on his way.

"Wow, you've been here a full 24 hours and now you must know what's right for everyone?!" Dr. Halstead rolled his eyes and walked away.

Their little performance had garnered quite a bit of attention from the staff and even some of the patients. April and Connor's eyes met for a moment and he started to walk towards her and she darted into bed seven.

 _"Jesus not now,"_ April thought to herself. _  
_

Dr. Halstead was pressing on the patient's stomach and listening to her heart.

"Is he right?" April asked.

"Probably, order the chest _and_ the ultrasound," Dr. Halstead ordered.

"Is my mom okay?" the little girl asked weakly.

"Yeah she's stable, worried about you but you're in great hands right?" Connor's voice came from behind April and his breath gave her goose bumps.

Her heart beat quickened and her cheeks reddened.

"Okay so I'll get those tests ordered right away," April slid past Connor and headed to the main desk.

"April," Dr. Rhodes was right behind her.

Maggie glanced up and April's eyes darted to Connor.

"Tenemos que hablar de noche," Connor was looking directly at April and she was unable to pretend he wasn't because no one else in the vicinity spoke Spanish besides her.

Maggie raise an eyebrow and smirked she looked at Connor and then back to April.

"No, no y definitivamente no hacemos aquí," April pulled a fake smile and walked away quickly to find Dr. Choi.

"Dr. Choi, hey so I was looking at eleven's chart, and she's on blood thinners but it looks like her meds run out at the end of this week and she doesn't have a refill, do we think we should order more? I could run to the pharmacy?" April asked trying to mask her true intent.

"No April, actually the blood thinners were only temporary I need to get her tests results back and possibly get an OR consult," he answered.

Aprils face dropped, _"Screw this I'll just go down there, I'm a grown woman."_

April walked out of the exam room and met eyes with Dr. Rhodes as he was updating a nurse on a chart. April spun around and began making her way to the pharmacy. The pound of sneakers and gush of air introduced the appearance of Connor.

"April please we need to talk," he said a growing frustration in his voice.

"I'm on my way to the pharmacy for Dr. Choi, I don't have time," she lied.

"He doesn't need the meds April so you don't need to go to the pharmacy—wait do you need to go to the pharmacy?" He looked equally concerned and annoyed.

"What- are you eavesdropping on me?!" April rolled her eyes and darted into a ladies room.

He was waiting outside when she got out of the bathroom.

"Oh my god! You have got to chill!" April yelled.

"I need to apologize for last night—" he abruptly stopped speaking as an attendant walked by, "—Ayer por la noche fue muy agradable que está muy bonito, pero no quiero que pienses—"the attendant passed-"that I only want to have sex with you."

"I couldn't tell you, ran out of my apartment faster than I've seen some of the EMTs bring patients in," April snapped back.

"I just thought maybe you needed space and I know it didn't help me insulting your beliefs, actually I'd like to know more about what you believe, I'd like to know you," he said his eyes softening.

"I don't even know right now, honestly I don't normally do what I did last night. I have plans and ideas that I don't break for anyone, but I thought 'what the hell' and now..." April tapered off as she brought her hand to her forehead.

"So the pharmacy, that doesn't go with your plans or beliefs, what did your calendar say?" He asked concerned again.

April looked down she didn't want to scare him, she was scared enough as it was. She looked up but avoided his eyes before saying

"I have to get back we both have patients and this is not the place for this conversation, in Espanol or in English."


	3. Burnt Eggs

**After a wild night and a first meeting April and Connor are grappling with their decisions and trying to get to know one another while working.**

Connor nodded and April slid past him and swiftly walked toward the ER. He stood in the hall, the same hall not 48 hours ago he was scurrying through to find her; bumping into her and stumbling over a date invite.

" _Just give her some space,"_ he thought to himself but that was easier said than done after all they worked together and he did want to get to know her plus the very real possibility that he fathered a child with her. _Reckless_. He knew what happened between them was careless but it was also passionate and exciting. He didn't want to apologize for any of it; and just like that he was back in that moment. Her soft skin, those mile long legs wrapped around him equally as soft, her kisses both excited and delicate and they way she smelled like coconuts, roses, and vanilla. Connor liked being with her and around her. Her smile was beautiful and she was a good nurse; intuitive, and absorbent of all the knowledge and chaos around the ED.

"Dr. Rhodes?" A small nurse named Abigail tapped him on the shoulder dragging him out of his memory.

"Yes," he answered.

"I have the test results from the female car crash patient." Connor nodded, and while looking over the results he realized that he had to concentrate on work and fast.

The mother had blood in her stomach and a tear on her left ventricular valve. He realized time was of the essence with this patient and took off running towards the ED.

April was checking the elderly woman in bed eleven when she heard the code alarm go off and the rolling of a crash cart hastily making its' way past her. There was a small heartbreaking scream coming from the little girl Dr. Halstead was treating; racing to the room Dr. Rhodes yelled for someone to collect the girl and April ran over.

"Hey sweetie, it's going to be okay, let's get you back into bed," April spoke softly to the girl as she put both hands reassuringly around her shoulders. Tears flooded the little girls' eyes.

"Hey, what's your name?" April asked as she tucked the child back into her hospital bed.

"Emma," the little girl said through her cries.

"Well, hello Emma, I'm April and the best doctors are taking care of your mom, and when we know something I will come tell you personally, okay?" April went to stand up but the little girl had a firm grip on her hand and was still sobbing uncontrollably.

April smiled sympathetically and sat down next to her. It had only felt like a few minutes when April woke up next to the little girl, who had her fingers intertwined in her curls. The light was low and the little girl was asleep. Her mother had been taken into surgery hours ago.

"Emma," a low voice came from the door and a man with concerned blood shot eyes walked in with Dr. Halstead.

April awoke and stood up as quickly as she could without ripping her hair out from the child's grip.

"This is Emma's dad Kyle," Dr. Halstead said.

"Hi, I'm April, I'm a nurse I've been with Emma for a few hours but I told her I would update her on her mother so I'll leave you alone."

"Actually that's what we are doing now," Dr. Halstead said somberly.

"Oh," April's faced dropped.

"Can we just let her sleep, I want to let her sleep before I tell her the worse news of her life," Kyle said as he sat down next to her bedside.

"You can take as much time as you need," Dr. Halstead said as he slowly backed out of the room.

"That poor little girl is going to wake up from a dream to a nightmare…crap speaking of nightmares I haven't checked on half of my patients for hours now," April said frantically.

"Don't worry, I ran through your charts," said a familiar voice. It was Maggie grinning behind the main desk.

"Oh thanks girl!" April said.

"Oh don't thank me yet Sleeping Beauty you can pick up the three hours I have left on my shift to pay me back."

"Fair enough," April said yawning.

The night was mostly uneventful, drunks, elderly folks, and some mentally ill homeless people. By ten o'clock April was exhausted and more than ready to punch out. She headed to the nurses' station and changed her clothes. She began her route to her apartment. She unlocked the door and plopped her bag and jacket on the table and passed out on the couch. When she came to the next day she grabbed her bag to check her phone but underneath it was the calendar. She stared at it far longer than she wanted to admit. She knew that the window for emergency contraceptives was quickly closing which meant she needed to talk to Connor, a conversation that she wasn't quite ready to start because she didn't even know how to have it with herself. One of the worst parts of this situation was that she didn't have his number or any contact information on him. She got up and walked to bathroom and washed her face. She headed to a corner store and picked up some light groceries for breakfast. She walked back to the pharmacy and purchased a Plan B pill. She swallowed the pill immediately when she arrived home. A small smile warmed her face and she was sure that this was the last she would need to think about it.

April was chopping onions and bell peppers when she heard a knock at the door. She turned down the heat on the stove and headed to the door. When she opened it there was Connor, with a bouquet of flowers and those large blue eyes that she was drawn into from the moment they first interacted.

"Hi," Connor said almost confidently if his eyes hadn't appeared to look so puppy-dogged.

"Hey, -uh come on in, I'm actually just making myself some breakfast," April opened the door wider and let Connor walk through.

The oil in the pan had heated up and she ran over and took the pan off the stove.

"Oh, no please keep cooking, by all means _eat_ , I just wanted to come by and apologize for being a bit too relentless at the hospital yesterday," Connor pushed his arm forward to present her with flowers.

April smiled reassuringly and accepted the bouquet.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have ran away, that was really childish, but I wasn't joking about nurses turning on you if they find out you're hooking up with the doctors."

"Everyone seems really nice," Connor said.

"Of course they do, you're a doctor,nurses have to show you respect; you know I remember a nurse that slept with a resident a few years back and Abigail would assign her all the vomits, and fecal clean-up duty it was awful, she shut her out and had all the nurses shut her out too, finally one day she transferred to General U and that was the last I heard of her," April said while smelling the bouquet.

Connor let out a laugh.

"That little woman Abigail?! That sounds like some hospital urban legend," he stood up and walked over to her. She cut her eyes at him and nodded.

"Here let me cut the banding and put them in water for you so can go back to cooking," he offered.

"Thanks, there are vases on the top row of the shelf next to the trash," April said pointing up and then turning back to the stove.

Connor pulled the rubber band down and popped her trash open with his foot. The lid revealed the empty Plan B box at the top of the pile. He put the bouquet down.

"Well, I guess that answers that," Connor said under his breath.

He was filling the vase with water when April turned and said, "Answers what?"

"Your trash, um, you took an emergency contraceptive, which means you are not in the two week clear time that the rhythm method relies upon," He looked concerned, "I know I don't have a right to ask but when did you take it?"

April looked slightly annoyed but mostly ashamed. She was hoping that after the two week mark was up she could just avoid the entire conversation.

"I took it about a half hour ago, I would've sooner but I got caught up last night at the hospital with that little girl. You know the one in the severe car accident you and Dr. Halstead argued over."

"Yeah, that was not one of my finest moments. I knew her mom's prognosis was poor but I also knew if I could give her something to fight for she might've had a better chance, unfortunately she died anyway," Connor looked down at his hands.

"Hey," April said as she walked over to him. "You gave her some peace before her end, knowing her daughter was okay."

Connor nodded and then smiled with wide eyes, "Your eggs are burning!"

April ran over to stove and turned it off; she slid the contents of the pan on a plate and topped it with hot sauce.

"You want any?" she laughed.

Conner shook his head no and laughed. She ate almost half the plate before conceding defeat to the burnt parts.

"Wow, what a champ, I would have thrown all of it away!" Connor laughed.

"Okay, so you're making fun of my cooking? Well normally I'm not distracted by anyone," April said flirtatiously.

Connor raised his eyebrow and smirked, "I'm a distraction?"

April took a gulp of water and smiled. "Well the nice kind, I guess."

She stood up and placed her dish in the sink when she turned around he was standing right behind her. Those blue eyes piercing through her again. _Shit._

"Is this distracting?" Connor said as he inched toward her face placing a kiss on her cheek, "How about this?" he said and placed another one on her neck.

April could feel her body melting around her. His kisses felt more intense than the last time. There was no alcohol to dull the senses. He met her face and pulled her chin towards him kissing her lips and slowly moving his tongue into her mouth.

That softness that had haunted him since their first encounter manifested itself but the reality was better than the recall.

He wanted to kiss her entire body, feel the softness of her skin again so he trailed his kisses down her neck to inhale the smell of coconuts and sugar.

Her moans vibrated off his ear and he could feel himself stiffen. He picked her up and carried to her bedroom. Those long legs wrapped around him again. It took no time to for their clothes to be off the only fabric that touched their bodies were her sheets.

Connor stopped kissing her and slid over the side of the bed and grabbed a condom from his pants. He found himself on top of her again and slid it on. " _Not making that mistake again"_ he thought to himself. He positioned himself to enter her but stopped quickly to see her in the light.

Her taut body perfect breasts and smooth brown skin were so much more beautiful in the daylight then in the dark; the whole picture perfect body was topped with that exquisite face. Her curls were wild against the pillow a striking dichotomy to her sharp cheekbones and doe eyes.

He pushed himself inside her and brought his face down to kiss her lips. She felt as good as the time before even as the condom muted the feeling but she was just as tight as the last time so he slowed himself down allowing her to get used to him. He could never quite tell if he was hurting her or not. Her moans turned to groans and he took it as a cue to quicken his pace. Pushing himself faster into her he could feel himself getting closer he started to come and he brought his forehead to hers but when he opened his eyes she looked pained.

"Are you okay?" he started to slow down even as he could feel the first wave of fervor crash over him.

"Connor, no, stop, I'm going to puke," April pushed him off her as fast as she could as she darted to her bathroom.

Connor felt embarrassed but mostly shocked. He slid the condom off and stuffed it in the wrapper. He found his pants put them on and walked over to the bathroom. April was hunched over the sink rinsing her mouth out. She grabbed her robe and tied it. Her face would've been red if it wasn't so washed out. "

"Oh my god that was single-handedly the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me," April blurted out; she had her hand over her eyes.

"I have had women turn me down but no one has ever been so repulsed by me that I've managed to make them vomit while simultaneously being _inside_ them," Connor smiled. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, you know those stories about not swimming after eating and we know they aren't true but the myth came from somewhere?" April said still covering her hand over her eyes.

"Yeah?" Connor said.

"I'm that myth," April said uncovering her eyes, "I have always gotten motion sickness, to an extent, it makes me feel dizzy but if I eat and then move too much, _blah_ ," April looked down.

"And of course add some burnt eggs for good measure, " Connor said with a laugh as he leaned forward and gave April a kiss on the forehead.


	4. Scallops and Love Notes

**Connor and April's relationship is beginning to take shape I stole his surgical fellowship from the show and will probably continue to weave canon pieces into the overall fic!**

Questionable culinary skills, ill-timed vomiting, and even April's aversion to not going public with their relationship was still not enough to keep Connor away from her. Every free second he had at the hospital he would use to sneak away and leave her small love notes on her clip boards always in Spanish in case they were intercepted. Every week he would check the schedule to see when their times overlapped so he'd know the best moment to sneak a kiss or leave her a message. Lately it had been harder to see her because he had been invited to Dr. Downey's surgical service and he couldn't pass up the opportunity to work with the most brilliant surgeon walking the halls of the hospital.

Today he had assisted in a complicated triple bypass surgery on a woman that had been given a twenty-five percent success rate and he wanted to celebrate with April after their shifts were over. He wrote a small note on the back of scrap piece of paper and folded it into his pocket. The ding of the elevator was the only noise invited to intrude into Connor's happy bubble; he couldn't stop thinking of that sickly beating heart that _he_ had kept beating today and the smile of the most beautiful woman he couldn't wait to share it with. He stepped off the elevator and heard her laugh. He would know it anywhere she sounded like a mixture of water trickling down the window and the echo of a well. Her laughter always made him feel warm. He went to clip the note onto the clipboard but the board was gone and in its place was a digital one.

"We switched to the digital notepads yesterday," the voice was familiar; it was Maggie standing behind the main desk. She wasn't even looking at Dr. Rhodes but in typical Maggie fashion she was using her third eye.

"Yeah, man these things are incredibly efficient and there isn't room for error from poor handwriting or verbal miscommunication. The surgical unit is supposed to get them tomorrow, I didn't know the ER already had them," Connor answered.

He was studying the device hitting a few buttons trying his best to pretend that he was just being curious over the new technology.

"April will probably be out in a minute," Maggie said without looking up.

"April?" Connor did his best confused voice.

Maggie stopped what she was doing and looked up at Connor with the most deadpanned stare he'd ever seen from her.

"I may not be able to read in Spanish or speak it but I'm not blind Dr. Rhodes," Maggie's face softened and she grinned.

Connors faced burned a bit as he slid in closer to the desk and whispered,

"Does Abigail know?"

"Does Abigail know what?" Natalie asked walking up and putting a chart down in front of Maggie.

"Um- that the ED has these cool new digital charts, I was just checking them out," Connor answered quickly.

Natalie rolled her eyes and smiled.

"No one's telling Abigail a _thing_ ," Natalie said with a smile and a wink as she walked away.

Connor felt like all his 007 work had been for naught. He walked around trying to look busy when his pager went off for the miracle patient he just saved. Connor took off running up the stairs there was no time to wait on the elevator.

April came out of the bed three and stuck the chart into a holster behind the large desk.

"You have a message from Dr. Rhodes," Maggie said.

"Who? " April feigned confusion and yawned.

"Seriously, you two…," Maggie said shaking her head, "You know that Abigail tale is true but what most people don't realize about the resident in that story was that he was awful! Particularly rude to Abigail and he always asked for the under qualified nurse he was sleeping with. It put patients at risk and she hated it, we _all_ did. You and Dr. Rhodes don't do that. As cute as the whole junior high note swapping thing is I think you're safe from the mythic wrath of Abigail," Maggie gave April a pat on the shoulder.

April smiled and let out a sigh.

"I don't know it's still work and I want to be professional."

"Making out in the broom closet is professional now?" Maggie said laughing.

April's mouth dropped and her eyes widened.

"Where's my message?" April said shaking her head. Maggie handed her the small sheet of folded paper.

 _ **Dinner after your shift? 8? Petterinos?**_

April smiled and sent a "yes" via text message. She headed to the nurses locker room to change into her street clothes, street clothes not appropriate for dinner. She was not about to wear her beat up jeans and sweater to dinner. She was thinking about which dress she should choose. Her mind immediately went to a blue body con one she owned. The blue reminded her of Connor's eyes, damn those eyes. The day she had declined to go out with him her response was mechanical, as if someone had asked her if she liked orange lipstick or if two plus two was ten, the answer was no because it was supposed to be no, it had to be no, not because she wanted it to be no. But at the bar it was different, there was no code of ethics or Hippocratic oaths to stand by it was just his eyes locking onto hers seducing hers without even blinking. In that one moment she had betrayed everything she stood for professionally and personally. He looked at her with those deep grey-blue pools and that smirk and she threw all abandon to the wind. She had tried her best to deny that she was attracted to him, to not stare at his chest when she was patching up his arm but when they were back at her place she was able to take in the taut stomach, chiseled pecs, and the tattoos that covered his arm and back. He was beautiful, even more so without clothes on. The thought of having more than Italian food made April blush a bit as the images of Connor's creamy skin that always smelled like cinnamon and cedar intruded her mind, the way he would let out a long exhale before he was going to come like he'd been holding his breath the entire time, the way he bit his bottom lip trying to contain his vocal pleasure. She was almost all the way the up the stairs to her apartment when a wave of dizziness hit her. Small stars filled her eyes and she bobbed on her heels; catching herself on the railing April took in a deep breath and began walking to her apartment door. Just thinking of him made her dizzy!

 _"_ _What the hell was that?!...I should probably drink some juice."_

A few gulps of orange juice later and she felt good. The shower was soothing almost too soothing as she was yawning again. She stood in front of her closet and found the long sleeve blue body con dress she had in mind. "

 _Damn, my breasts look way bigger in this than the first time I wore it…hmmm maybe I should change?"_

But then again the idea was to have _more_ than dinner. She put on a gorgeous shade of red lipstick and grabbed her jacket.

Connor was sitting in the booth he had reserved for them sipping on a glass of red wine. He was still floating on a cloud from the day he had with Dr. Downey. The red wine immediately pulled his memory to the beating heart, he shook his head and smiled, taking another sip from his glass. When he put it down he caught an eyeful of his date. She had handed her coat to the hostess and stepped out in an electric blue dress that hugged every curve of her body. The long sleeves were a clever bit of moderation but did nothing to keep the attention away from the distracting plunging neckline that accentuated those taut breasts he loved. He would have those in his mouth tonight if he had his way. She smiled when she saw him look at her like she was dinner. Her gazelle like legs were nude aside from the blue tie lace ups attached to her suede heels. He stood up to meet her at the table.

"You look amazing," Connor said before planting a light kiss on her lips. She smelled like coconuts, vanilla, and a new perfume he didn't recognize.

"Thanks you do too," and April meant it.

All of Connor's clothes fit to perfection like every piece he owned was hand tailored for him. His black dress pants and white button up were casual but he filled them out nicely and they were kept appropriate with his blazer.

"So how was your day?" April asked as she grabbed the bottle of red wine on the table and poured it into her glass.

Connor's blues eyes lit up instantly. He leaned forward ready to burst like child holding in a secret.

"I got to assist, hell practically lead, on a triple bypass! It was on this 60 year old woman who had this blockage the size of a marble and every cardiac surgeon she had consulted with told her that she ran the risk of having a stroke during the procedure and most didn't think they could get to the blockage without her going into full cardiac arrest without resuscitation. She was denied by everyone except-"

"Except Downey huh?" April said smiling.

"Yes! Not only did he tell her he could do the surgery but he let me clear the blockage and close!" Connor smiled brighter and took a swig from his glass.

"Did you close with the whipple or the butterfly?" April asked while she looked down at the menu.

Connor crooked his head squinted his eyes.

"Uh-the whipple, wait how did you know about the whipple, did you train to be a surgical nurse?" Connor asked his eyes still wide with excitement.

"There was a time a when I thought I would be a doctor maybe even a surgeon but-," April was cut off when their server arrived at the table to take their order. April ordered the scallops and Connor ordered the lasagna.

"-but what?" Connor asked inquisitively "You were thinking about it but what happened?"

"Oh um, my parents found out my brother wanted to be the doctor so that's where the money went, I chose nursing so I could stay in the medical field, " a sadness sat in her eyes for a moment.

"Oh I thought you were older?" Connor stated.

"I am," April answered and shrugged.

The food arrived filling the air with garlic, onions, and a hint of seawater that curled April's nose.

"That's ridiculous, you're more than capable," Connor looked annoyed, "My father didn't want me to be a doctor either, he wanted me to go into business and take over our families' company."

"What kind of business?" April asked before taking a bite of her bread, she was eating around the scallops something about their flavor was off and she didn't find the dish very appetizing.

"My father owns a department store here in Chicago," Connor said succinctly.

"Well no wonder you find the idea of sending only one child to grad school ridiculous," April rolled her eyes and then saw the embarrassment in Connor's face.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean-," April put down her glass.

"Nope, that was on me I'm being presumptuous, but I do think you're brilliant," Connor flashed those blue eyes and April knew she was definitely finished eating.

"You didn't eat much do you want to order dessert?" Connor asked partly concerned.

"No, I'd rather have dessert at home," April smirked.

Connor smiled back her.

"Check please."


	5. Twist N' Chill

**After dinner they crash at Connor's place and spend the day bumming around his apartment just being a couple.**

April woke up still nestled on Connor's chest. She hadn't even noticed that she had passed out so quickly after they had sex. She slowly rolled over trying her best not to wake him up. She crushed her breast getting up and realized for the first time how tender they felt.

 _"Ugh- my period's on its way, just in time to spoil all the fun."_

She flushed the toilet and washed her hands and glanced up at her naked body in the mirror. She stood there through the haze of her own exhaustion and looked at herself. She looked down and then turned her body sideways in the mirror.

 _"No_. _No. I took the Plan B pill. Stop being paranoid April. "_

She quietly slid back into bed with Connor and quickly passed out again on his chest. When she awoke he was out of bed and from the sound of the humming noise coming from the bathroom he was brushing his teeth. April got up and stretched looking out the window. Connor had a gorgeous view of the city from his apartment. She always wondered why he'd even wanted to be at her place with _all_ this to wake up to every morning. She leaned over and grabbed a mint from the night stand.

"You know, you could keep a toothbrush here if you wanted?" Connor said watching April sucking on a mint.

He was leaning against the bathroom door frame looking at the raven haired beauty emerging from her sleep. He walked over and plopped onto the bed next to her.

"Really?" April asked smiling.

"Yeah and maybe an extra scarf like the one you wear on your head at your place cause I'm not sure dish soap is going to get out those oil stains on the pillow."

April laughed and blushed a bit.

"Hey, a hazard of dating a black girl." She said smiling.

Connor laughed and moved forward to kiss her and she groaned a bit in his mouth. He pulled back and smiled half shaking his head.

"What?" April asked.

Connor smiled at her looked down and then up at her again.

"I love that little noise you make; but I can't ever tell if it's pain or pleasure, I mean I think we're both satisfied every time we've-well you know but I swear I always think I'm hurting you, am I?" Connor bit his bottom lip and looked at her with those beautiful blues that conveyed concern and sympathy.

April smirked, "Honestly, the first time yeah it kind of hurt, but I think I had enough booze in my system that I kind of ignored it, but since I mean it's only a little uncomfortable the first minute or so, strangely, I kind of like the pain a bit."

Connor raised an eyebrow and smirked at her again.

"I really don't want to hurt you April," Connor said and leaned forward to kiss her.

He meant for the kiss to be a light peck but April pushed forward and made the kiss deeper. She straddled his lap grinding into him until she could feel him stiffen underneath her. She pushed him back onto the bed and grabbed his dick and slid it into her. She came up and slammed her way back down onto his lap grinding furiously and bringing her face down to his for a kiss. Their tongues wrestled in a power struggle. Connor moaned in her mouth fighting off his own orgasm. He picked her up and off of him and flipped her to her stomach and lay against her. He slid both arms between her arms in front of her locking his hands on her shoulders. He pushed inside her slowly listening to that groan she made each stoke felt agonizing as he was doing his best not to get off before her. She could feel him barely breathing again, always seemingly holding his breath.

"Faster, harder" she breathed out.

His speed picked up exponentially and she couldn't catch her breath anymore. The room filled with sounds of baited breath and flesh pounding. She started to come as she screamed and she heard a loud exhale from him signaling to her that he was close. He let go of his grip on her shoulders and moved them to her hips thrusting harder than he had before. This was the pleasure pain feeling she loved the inescapable pain of the push followed by the swift pleasure of the pull. Connor pushed inside her hard one last time before pulling out and expelling all over her back. He collapsed next to her catching his breath and wiping sweat from his brow.

"See I'm fine," April teased with a smile. Connor grinned and looked over at her.

"We cannot do that again without a condom," he laughed.

April got up to pee and Connor followed her to fill the bath tub.

He climbed in and put his hand out for April to join him. She slipped in, the water was hot and stung a little but she let herself get used to it. She slid over next to him.

"Here let me get your back," Connor said with a slight giggle.

"Laugh all you want, but it was hot," April said proudly.

"I'm not disputing that," Connor said as he washed her back.

The suds trickled down her back and Connor lowered his head to kiss her shoulder. He had no idea that anyone could be this beautiful. Her brown skin glistened from the soap and in certain angles it even glowed.

"God, you are so beautiful," Connor said laying another small kiss on her shoulder.

April laid back and nestled her head in crook of his neck.

"Why do always say that, I'm just me," April giggled.

"Seriously? Have you seen yourself? Of course not. I have never been so nervous to ask someone out or to have sex with a woman, I needed that liquid courage the first time," Connor admitted with a light laugh.

"I guess me puking the second time was terrifying," April laughed.

"Uh-yeah that's definitely one way to look at it," Connor laughed.

He switched hands to wash her arms. His hands revealed a small scar.

"What's that?" April asked, Connor stared at it a bit and then replied.

"Riyadh, I was the new hotshot American student that thought everyone needed to hear my idealistic ways even though I didn't know anything. I got in a fight in a hotel lobby, the best part," he said turning his neck to make eye contact with her, "He was American too," Connor and April both laughed.

"You know how you mentioned that your dad didn't want you to be a doctor, what did your mom have to say about it?" April asked.

Connor was silent and planted another kiss on April's shoulder then her neck before he rested his chin there.

"My mom died when I was ten."

"I'm sorry." April said turning to him.

She stared at those deep blue-grey eyes and even though he was smiling she could finally see where the grey came from. It was the quiet sadness of losing his mother so young. He smiled a little brighter.

"That's interesting," Connor said inquisitively.

'What is?" April asked.

"Your hair shrinks when it gets wet," Connor was staring at her in awe again looking at her up and down.

April laughed at his innocent white curiosity over her hair.

"That means it's time for me to get out and twist my hair before it gets too nappy," April remarked as she got out of the tub; Connor followed her.

"How do you twist your hair and can I help?" Connor asked.

He looked like a small child begging his mother to let him help cook, he was wrapping a towel around his waist.

A large grin pulled across April's face as she pulled up a robe around her.

"Um okay, we need coconut oil and maybe some olive oil." She was in his kitchen.

Connor walked up behind her and pointed to where everything was kept.

"So this is why there are oil stains on the pillow…hmmm," Connor said.

"Do you want to learn or not?" April sassed at him.

Connor shook his head and smiled at her. They sat down on his couch and she placed a small bowl of mixed olive and coconut oil on his coffee table. She did a few herself before showing him step by step the two-strand twist.

"Like this?" He asked sealing in the bottom with the oil mixture.

"Yeah, wow that's actually really good, maybe your surgical skills have crossover ability, Downey may lose you to the girls on the Southside." They both laughed.

Then they both went back to twisting her hair.

"He's sick you know," Connor said, "He wants to teach me everything he knows before…" Connor trailed off tightly twisting the last twist on his side.

"Oh no, I didn't know," April said turning around to Connor.

"So is that it?" Connor asked.

"Well normally I tie my hair up but I don't have a scarf here," April answered.

Connor stared at her then got up and entered his walk-in closet. After a minute he came out with a box.

"Will any of these do?" The box was full of gorgeous patterned scarves some thin some long and huge.

"Okay," April said smiling, "Where did these all come from, you better not have some weird fetish," she said laughing. Connor laughed loudly.

"No, they're from Riyadh, you don't go somewhere that culturally rich and not bring back something."

"Wow, this one reminds of me an older woman who used to watch me when we lived in Brasil." April picked up the scarf and tied it around her head.

"You lived in Brazil?" Connor asked.

"I was born there, Portuguese is my first language, Spanish is my second and actually English is my third," April said stuffing the other scarves back in the box.

Connor wrapped his arms around her.

"You want to watch cartoons and eat cereal?" he said with a laugh.

She smiled in his arms and laughed back.

"Of course."


	6. When It All Falls Down

Chapter Summary

They break-up...I think there is one maybe two more chapters and then that's it for this story.

When Connor opened his eyes he didn't except the light to hurt, but it did. He wasn't one for hangovers but even he couldn't deny that he'd had way too much to drink last night and the headache hovering just above his eyes was more than deserved. He closed his eyes again and rolled over to avoid any more looming pain and suddenly he could feel the warmth of a body next to him. He inhaled deeply expecting his favorite scent of coconuts, sugar, and vanilla but instead his nose was hit with lemons, lavender, and whipped cream.

Connor slowly opened his eyes allowing the onslaught of pain and reality to hit him all at once. Instead of mounds of curly ravened-hair there were sheets of shiny golden strands. Connor's stomach turned as he sat up much too soon. He quickly made his way to the bathroom stumbling and tripping fast enough to let the first chunks of vomit hit the toilet. Every lurch of bile brought back a memory. A shot of whiskey. His stomach contracted and it induced more heaving and memories. Three shots of whiskey with…Zanetti. Sam Zanetti who hated him, she hated him because Dr. Downey had chosen him to be his protégé even though she was already first in line and now he was dead. Connor lay slumped over the toilet as tears began running down his cheeks. That memory hit him too. Downey was dead and he had asked Connor to be the one to let him go. It had all been too much to handle and April was gone. She had to fly to Brazil to bury a family member of her own so Connor took a few days off; buried his mentor, and tried to hold it together but after the funeral Sam had asked him to have a drink….

 _"No! Connor what did you do?!"_

He flushed the toilet and rinsed his face. He grabbed a pair of pajama pants he had on the bathroom floor. When he emerged from the restroom Sam was up and getting dressed.

"Hey," he said looking somber.

"Good morning or afternoon I have no idea what time it is," she said with smile that quickly dissolved as she saw how upset he was.

"Listen, I'm a little fuzzy about last night... but if it's what I think happened... it was a mistake. I'm with someone, someone I love," Connor said looking Sam directly in the eye.

"Huh," she scoffed, "Love, well I couldn't tell last _night._ You never said anything between the whiskey shots and your dick down my throat in the elevator-," she started.

"-Sam," Connor interrupted.

"-Or the hard pounding you gave me here," she pointed to the table, "Oh and here," she said pointing to the bed, "Geez you really like going from the back."

She slid on her boots and looked for her watch and cell phone.

"Sam- I'm sorry, but it shouldn't have happened," Connor said bringing both hands up to his head and running them through his hair.

"Yeah well I'm used to not being first picked…so... thanks for the mint," she grabbed a piece from the candy dish on April's side of the bed shook her head and walked out; slamming the door.

Connor dropped to his knees, his head still pounding as he began to sob.

 _"_ _No. No. No. What have you done?!"_

April's plane had landed hours ago and she wanted to see Connor as soon as possible but she needed a nap. She knew that losing Downey was a huge blow to him but she had good news for him, well she hoped he would take it as good news, maybe offer a little light in the gloom that was his life right now. When she got up it was dark outside. She looked at the clock.

" _Hmm it's only 8'oclock I have enough time to go over there, get back here unpack and get enough sleep before work tomorrow."_

She made her way over to Connor's; coming up the elevator, she realized she hadn't even thought to call. She walked off the lift and knocked on his door. When he opened it he looked like he'd showered but was still tired. He let her in but he didn't make eye contact with her.

" _He really must be in deep mourning,_ " she thought.

"Hey, how are you?" April asked sympathetically as she rubbed his back while they sat down on his couch.

"Not very good," Connor answered still unable to look her.

"I'm so sorry about Dr. Downey I know how close you two had grown. Listen, I know the timing is odd but I have some news..um something I need to tell you.. maybe something to brighten things up a bit-," April still had a sincere small smile on her face when Connor grabbed her arm from his back and held her hand in his.

"-April you may not want to share _anything_ with me after I tell you what I need to tell you first," Connor could feel his bottom lip quiver as his voice broke.

"Okay….you're kind of scaring me," April's smile faded and she turned to him to listen.

"After the funeral I was pretty down…so Sam and I went to the bar and had drinks…," Connor's voice completely broke.

"Okay, that's normal to drink after a funeral... it happens," April was trying to push away the growing fear of where this conversation was going; she was in denial.

"April I drank so much I blacked out I think er- I know I slept with her last night," Connor looked down before finally looking at April..."I had sex with Sam last night," Connor closed his eyes and let the tears run down his face.

"No, no you wouldn't do that...," April said in a disconnected voice as she let his hand go.

. It didn't make any sense it was like he was speaking another language.

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you," Connor said as he sniffled and wiped his face with his hands.

April stood up and slowly walked out of the apartment. She grabbed the elevator as soon as it opened. She put one hand over her chest trying to slow her breathing. She could've sworn she felt her heart breaking. She waited all the way until she got to the lobby and even longer through her cab ride, all the way up the three flights of stairs to her apartment where she opened her door shut it, slid down it, and sobbed uncontrollably into her hands.

...

Weeks ago a reminder had gone off on April's phone but she was so busy she hadn't really paid attention to the notification. She pushed passed it along with texts and missed phone calls not realizing that the notification was for her period. Six weeks later she had pulled Natalie aside to talk about it.

"Okay," she said as she took a breath to gain clarity, "So I missed a period after a risky night with Rhodes, but I took a Plan B less than 48 hours later, I need you to please tell me there is no way in hell I'm pregnant… that it's all in my head," April said in one breath, "What was it like for you?" April asked.

"Well for me, I was so sleepy all the time, I could smell _everything_ and my favorite foods tasted like crap. Sometimes I would get really dizzy out of nowhere, usually when I pushing it too hard," Natalie confessed.

April's face fell at the list of symptoms they were all felt and had by her in the weeks prior.

Natalie smiled, "Alright, well you took emergency contraceptive, so you should be fine," she said but she could see April's face fraught with worry, "Look how about we take a test just to put your mind at ease?" Natalie handed April a cup. "You know the drill."

April was sitting when Natalie walked in. "Okay, so you're pregnant."

"Wait-what…no that can't be right I took the pill that you're supposed to take afterwards, I followed the instructions to a T," April looked confused, "Shit," she said as the mistake hit her.

"What?" Natalie asked.

"I threw it up, I made disgusting eggs got motion sickness and puked up my pill…dammit."

"Motion sickness?" Natalie said confused.

April just looked at her, "A very embarrassing story I'll tell you over drinks sometime…in the next ten months," April said laughing as they emerged from behind the curtain.

Maggie and all the nurses and doctors that worked in the ED were standing in a group.

"What's going on?" Natalie asked Will.

"I don't know Sharon has an announcement," Will whispered.

"As some of you already know Dr. Downey ,one of the most brilliant and recognized cardio thoracic surgeons this side of the hemisphere, who had chosen our hospital to work at, who had helped to place us on the map and bring attention to those in need of his unique care has passed. It's with that knowledge that makes his passing that much more an immense blow not only to this hospital but to the field of medicine. I would like us all to take moment of silence for our colleague, friend, and mentor who took his last breath an hour ago," Sharon said somberly.

April didn't take the moment she slid away from the group and began sprinting upstairs to find Connor. He was in the residents' lounge staring at the wall.

"Connor," April said.

He turned to her; got up, and they hugged for what felt like an eternity, that was until her phone rang. She ignored it but then it rang again and then again.

"You should get that," Connor said wiping a tear away.

It was her brother. Their aunt had passed away after a long battle with breast cancer and they were laying her to rest in Brazil in a few days.

...

A few days was all it took to destroy Connor and April; a life had been created, but two deaths would overshadow it and the final death would be their relationship.

April woke up the next morning her eyes practically stuck together after sobbing most of the night away. She took her prenatal vitamins and pulled on a pair of jeans and a comfy t-shirt. She wore her hair in a low bun and left for work. Weeks passed turning into a month and then another. She had yet to see Connor. He was still upstairs working with a new cardio surgeon but from what she knew he was mopey and depressed; what most people chalked up to his mentors' death, only a few knew he and April had broken up. April for the most part was the same. She went in did her work and went home. She'd asked Natalie not to tell anyone that she was pregnant. She still hadn't told Connor, she couldn't even say his name without crying and the growing child inside her was an ever constant reminder. Every now and again she would see Sam who would be giving an OR consult. They both stayed professional but it was hard to see the literal walking blonde asteroid that had decimated her relationship. She was never quite sure if Sam knew about her, most of the time she tried not to think about it.

One day before work she went to put on her jeans and noticed they wouldn't zip. She was reaching the middle of her second trimester and the world's tiniest bump had emerged. She decided she'd wear sweatpants to work; it went well with her sadness. When she came out of the nurses lounge Natalie was waiting for her.

"Hey Nat," April said with a smile.

"Hey, I noticed you rolled in today with sweatpants on, not judging, but I have some maternity stuff for you to borrow if you want?" Natalie placed her hand on April's shoulder.

"Eh, I could probably make it through with sweats," April answered.

Natalie stopped them both.

"April, I know all about being pregnant and alone ,but you're not, you need to tell him at the very least," Natalie said with concern in her eyes. "I mean have you told Sharon? Maggie? Your family? You don't have to do this on your own."

April nodded, "I will.. I'm just not there yet. I can't even think about looking at him without crying and if I can't face him I'm not sure when I can face my family or work. Plus he works here too, I have to tell him before I tell everyone else," April sounded defeated.

"What horrible thing could he have done to make the girl that smiles constantly turn into a shell of herself?" Natalie asked.

" _Dr._ Sam Zanetti," April hissed.

Natalie's mouth dropped.

When they reached the ED everyone was in chaos. It was all hands on deck a few of the OR surgeons were down giving consults and taking patients up for surgery. A warring gang had been brought in and some of them were completely unconscious, hanging by a thread, but other rival members were lucid and even though they had bullets in their chests and arms they were still provoking each other. April made her way to bed ten but the guy in bed eleven was yelling insults at the man she was treating.

"You bitches ain't going to show your faces on our block again! I know I capped like six of you and if the rest want some I got more for you!" the man screamed.

"Shut up!" The officer assigned to bed eleven hissed.

"Man fuck you!" bed ten yelled back, "How's your arm punto?!"

April had finished taking his blood pressure when the man in bed eleven tried to get through the curtain. The officer assigned to him lurched forward to grab him but the reaction by the man in ten was unraveling the situation faster than the officer assigned to him could react. He kicked his leg forward, and hard, trying to get out of the bed to the man next to him. April unfortunately happened to be on the receiving end of the kick; right to the abdomen. The blow toppled her back and she hit her head. Doctors Choi, Halstead, and Rhodes rushed to get the situation under control. Dr. Halstead turned and saw April on the floor.

"April, April, are you okay?" Will asked helping her sit up. The back of her head throbbed as she started to stand.

"Yeah I'm fine," April responded although she felt dizzy.

She walked toward the nurses' lounge to get her water bottle when the most intense pain spiraled through her pelvis. Her hand slipped on the wall as she tried to catch herself from falling.

"Hey are you okay?"

That voice " _Anybody but you,"_ April thought; Sam was next to her.

"I'm fine," April answered succinctly.

Like a guardian angel Natalie emerged from around the corner.

"I got her," Natalie hissed at Sam.

Dr. Zanetti put her hands up and walked away. April was biting her bottom lip trying her best to not cry out from the shooting pains across her stomach.

"How do you feel April?"

"I think I might be in labor...ow..oh god..it's too soon," April hunched forward as another pain stabbed through her pelvis and liquid began running down her leg.

"This is not good April," Natalie said.

"I think this is worse," April said pointing to the blood filling her sneakers and soaking the side of her leg.

"We need to get you up to the third floor," Natalie said concerned.

The two women walked down the hall slowly making their way to the elevator almost undetected until Will walked by. He, Choi, and Rhodes were dissipating from the fight as it was under control. Dr. Choi was finishing with the examination on bed ten when Will's eye caught Natalie and April hobbling to the elevator. He sped over.

"April? Is everything okay," Will asked concerned before he looked down at her pants filling with blood.

His eyes widened as he took a step back assessing the situation. He stepped back wide enough for a no longer preoccupied Connor to see April; he began speed walking towards her.

"Will," Natalie said and shook her head no, "I got it."

April gasped as another wave of pain spiraled through her. She put her hand underneath her stomach accentuating the small bump for the first time. The elevator dinged and April was relieved that no one else saw them until she turned around and there was Connor standing in front of the elevator doors staring at her, hand under her small but visible baby bump, blood now dripping on the elevator floor. They made eye contact long enough for April to see shock, sadness, and fear fly across Connor's face. She looked down away from his gaze when the elevator doors shut. Connor stood in the ED hall completely floored not able to form thoughts or words until he heard Sam yell.

"Rhodes, we're headed to OR three you're scrubbing in!"

Surgery, he couldn't go to surgery but he had to. Three hours later felt like an eternity. Connor raced out of the OR as soon as it was over to the third floor. He saw Natalie in the hall talking to an OB doctor. Natalie made eye contact with him.

"She's in room 303," Natalie said somberly.

Connor walked to her room slowly. He could tell that the news wasn't good. He half wanted to read her chart and leave but he needed to hear it from her knew what floor he was on but he had to know the truth; from her. When he entered the room April was curled up on her side, her skin looked washed out and it was obvious she'd been crying.

"Hi," Connor said as he walked over and sat down at her bedside.

"Hi," April all but whispered.

They stared at each other for a while; it was the first time they had really seen each other in a couple of months.

"How far-," Connor began to ask as his voice cracked.

April looked down, "Four and half...or I was," April said as a tear slid down her cheek quickly absorbed by her pillow.

Connor closed his eyes, anger was starting to take the place of sadness; he knew the baby was his.

"Were you EVER GOING TO TELL ME?!" Connor yelled.

His volume startled April and more tears streamed down her face.

"Does it matter Connor?" April answered defiantly.

"IT MATTERS! I LOVE YOU, THAT WAS OUR BABY APRIL!" He started to unravel into tears, "Was it a boy?"…he sobbed… "A girl?"

"A boy," April whispered trying to keep herself from full on sobbing.

She was too tired to be having this conversation, too depressed. This entire experience amounted to nothing but death. Connor stared at her for a moment then he got up and left. April laid there in silence before another wave of tears hit her. She cried herself to sleep for the second time over Connor Rhodes.


	7. It Was A Flood That Wrecked This Home

**April is home from the hospital and her and Connor finally talk about all the things looming about in their relationship.**

When the elevator had closed panic almost took the place of pain for April. Knowing Connor had seen her like that, the realization in his face that she was pregnant and the shock that she hadn't told him all seemed like it was quite possibly the worse thing that could be happening that is until she got up to labor and delivery. Immediately the ultrasound tech couldn't find a heartbeat she was going to have this baby but there would be no joy, no life, and no payoff from the pain just misery. She stayed in her bed as they monitored her bleeding and her contractions each contraction closing in the inevitable until an hour and half later she pushed out the lifeless contents of her womb. A small baby boy too fragile, too underdeveloped, and too tiny to live so small that she could only stand to look at him for a moment and then she cried into Natalie's arms soon they both were crying. An hour later Connor was in her room crying too and screaming at her for lying to him. Through his tears he'd told her that he loved her. Those words he had never said to her came out in his rage over feeling left out, lied to, and devastated over the hasty circle of life of the child he was only aware of in the course of a few hours. She would have cried more if she hadn't felt so numb.

Two days later she was cleared to leave. Maggie and Sharon had both been by to see her. To her surprise there were no big sister lectures or motherly advice and finger wags just support and information about her right to take six weeks for maternity leave if she wanted to. The idea actually repulsed April it made the reality of staying home with no baby even more heartbreaking. She felt like if she was gone six weeks it would be called maternity leave and she didn't want her colleagues knowing for a fact that she had been pregnant, too many people knew already plus a short leave would make everything seem more ambiguous. She decided on a week and a half and headed home. When she was ready to walk out there was Nat standing in the hallway in her street clothes with a wheel chair.

"Hospital policy," Natalie said in a sing-song way with a smile. April rolled her eyes with a half-smile at her friend.

"Only if we can leave the back way I don't want to be wheeled past everyone," April insisted.

Natalie nodded and they headed to the utility elevator. There was a cab already waiting at the front of the hospital. April and Natalie both got in as the car took them to Aprils apartment. Natalie walked April up.

"My shift starts in an hour, but if you like I could have some groceries delivered,or I could stop by tomorrow, you know Maggie-," Natalie was cut off by April hugging her.

"Oh thank you Nat, but I'll be okay. I think I'm going to take a nap and then maybe order in, but if it's okay I'll call you if I need anything?" April asked.

"Of course," Natalie said she gave her friend a warm rub on the back and walked out of the apartment.

Natalie wasn't even down the hall when she bumped into Connor.

"No," Natalie said succinctly at a confused Connor, "You don't get to go in there and scream at her again," his face burned a bit, "Yeah, we all heard you, everyone that was there for her when she pushed out your child…alone," Natalie hissed at him her finger poking into his chest.

"I didn't ask nor did I want her to do that alone," Connor barked back at Natalie pushing her finger back her faced eased, "Listen Natalie you're an amazing friend to her but this is between me and April," Connor said softening his tone.

Natalie pursed her lips together and let out a defeated sigh before walking away. Connor walked his way to April's door. Part of Natalie's words got to him maybe he should leave her alone but he needed to apologize. April had just changed into her bathrobe and was ready to get into the shower when she heard a knock at the door. She smiled a bit and walked over opening it quickly.

"Seriously Nat, I'm fine-," April's smile faded away as she saw her visitor.

'Hi April," Connor said breaking the silence between them all his emotions were trapped in those eyes that drew April in, the same ones that she could barely look at on the elevator or in her hospital room.

She stood there for a moment before breaking eye contact with him and moving her body out of the way to let him in.

"I was actually about to get in the shower," April said walking over to sit on her couch she was trying to hold her emotions in, they were swarming all over the place anger, rage, sadness, happiness.

She missed him and was glad he was there and she hated that he was there.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you at the hospital, I'm sorry," Connor said biting his lip and looking down, "I was worried and angry. I'm still trying to process what happened…why you didn't tell me," Connor asked moving to sit next to her. " I know I messed up, and I'm sorry April, I really am. I shouldn't have been drinking so much it was so easy to just lose my sorrows in a bottle, but I honestly don't even remember being with her," Connor's eyes pleaded with April to understand. "But as hard as it was I was still honest with you... it was easily one the worst moments in my life having to tell you that I betrayed you but I told you the truth…immediately. I just don't understand why you couldn't have done the same with me?"

April scoffed and a condescending smile made its way across her face.

"I came to your apartment after I got back from Brazil ready to be honest with you, to tell you that I was pregnant and instead _you_ told _me_ you FUCKED ANOTHER WOMAN!" April's voice surprised Connor as he sat there like a child in the principal's office.

She stood up and started to pace, "I was trying my best to hold it together to get through my first trimester before announcing anything to anyone. I felt dead most days Connor ...you broke my heart...," April's voice was cracking, "The only thing alive inside of me was him and I don't even have that anymore... ," April's voice trailed off as she took a breath to gather herself, "It just seemed right considering everything that had happened, I didn't want to have to deal with you until I knew how!" April shook her head at the irony.

"Deal with me?" Connor looked hurt, "But it's not just that April you didn't tell me when you took the Plan B pill, I mean I still don't understand why it didn't work? You wouldn't be honest with me about any of it! I found it in the _trash_! I know at the time we were new and still trying to get to know one another but I'm a doctor I _know_ there are warning signs, symptoms, and you didn't share any of them with me. I trust you with _me_ April, when will you admit you've never trusted _me_ with _you_?" Connor's eyes pleaded with her as he stood up to face her.

"You know I love you," He said putting his hand to the side of her face cupping her jaw. "When you're ready you're going to have to make the decision about whether or not you love me too, I know you do but you have to say it...you have to mean it...to show it," he moved his other hand to her face centering it so she had no choice but to look at him, he pushed his forehead to hers.

"You have to let me in or this really is over." Connor's eyes welled with tears.

Finally he let go of her face and walked to the door he stood for a second before letting out a small sigh and then he walked through it.

April could still feel the heat on her face from his hands. She placed her own hands there and began to cry. He was right, she was hurt, hurt badly by him but still he was right. She did love him, she knew she loved him when he inadvertently picked out her favorite cartoon without knowing, she knew she loved him the first time she heard him speak Spanish, she knew she loved him when her heart broke into a million pieces after finding out about him and Sam. She knew she would have only felt disappointment if she didn't but she knew then it was love and that he had a point. She bottled everything up and she was so used to dealing with everything on her own being the good daughter that pleased her parents and everyone else no matter the cost to her. Connor offered her a place to unload and to feel safe he had told her he wanted to know her and she responded by going into April mode, so used to empty gestures, and people who were supposed to love her but never actually measuring up and when he slept with Sam it seemed as though he was fulfilling a prophecy and allowing her to excuse her lack of communication with him, her lack of trust but she had started putting up walls long before Sam.

She knew she had to put things right with Connor because she was in love him and he had left the ball in her court and it was now her move.


	8. GoodyBye

**This is the end people. I think that initially I wanted to add more happy times to their relationship but this fic turned angsty and dramatic really quickly so I think this ending is fitting. Hope you like it!**

April got up the next morning and called Sharon. While tossing and turning most of the night in bed she decided that six weeks was an offer that she shouldn't refuse it was time she needed. Everything that Connor had said was real and right. She could put up more walls and pretend to be perfect not sad or angry that she wasn't a doctor or that the love she'd found hadn't been shattered by a reckless decision. Reckless decisions. So many reckless decisions, reckless decisions that had produced life, a small butterfly of hope that even the worst situations could bring happiness, a new life that was snuffed out by those with no regard for it and here she was sitting at home filling out paperwork making new decisions. She had made many choices about her life in her six week leave and one of them was Connor. She thought about texting him a couple of times but then decided against it.

Connor approached the door slowly, each step reminding him of the first step towards the nurses' locker room, the next step towards her apartment with flowers in hand, her hospital room, each step a memory of where they began and where they seemingly ended. She hadn't contacted him in the six weeks she was gone from work. He had thought about texting her but decided against it. Even this visit felt wrong if she wanted to see him she would but she hadn't. He was three doors away and then he stopped. He turned away and caught a cab home.

...

April was rubbing her favorite coconut whipped cream body butter on her legs paying attention to the detail around her toes and elbows. She slipped on a black sweater dress and a pair of boots before heading to work. April could feel her heart beat pick up as she neared closer to the doors. There were the casual hellos and smiles so overall everyone was normal she needed everyone to be normal.

"Hey," April heard a voice come from behind her, it was Will.

"Hey," April answered with a polite smile. He looked like he wanted to say something but then he didn't.

"It's nice to have you back, Merv The Saint is back too and in bed five, he's been asking for you," Will stated with a smile. He handed April the chart.

"Thanks", April said. It warmed her heart that people cared but that they weren't being too weird or awkward about it all.

Most of her day went well; easy for the most part. She would miss this, the people of the day shift, but she made her decision and she was sticking to it. When six o'clock hit she was done just that quickly, saying goodbye to everyone, and walking out to find a cab. She didn't expect to see him but there he was standing outside hailing a cab too. He spotted her and waved her over.

"Please take this one," Connor said. It was hard for April to read his face she couldn't tell if he was just being polite or if he just wanted her gone.

"That's not necessary, you can take it," April answered politely.

"We could share it, I'm actually heading to dinner somewhat close to your neighborhood," Connor offered. His eyes appeared softer more like himself.

April shook her head yes and they both got in the cab. Silence was the mode of communication, it wasn't awkward but the air was tense. Her hand had grazed his when she moved her purse to her lap and the feeling sent a sensation through her that she wasn't expecting. Connor for his part swallowed the silence and chewed on his lip the graze of her hand had the same impact on him. The driver offered no small talk and the quiet had grown into an energy that crawled all over April's face and laced itself around Connor's ears and all the most sensitive parts of both of their skin. When her stop came the cab driver asked,

"We're making another stop right?"

"No," April said calmly but commanding.

She opened her door and Connor handed the driver money. The silence continued following them up the stairs to her apartment and to her door. She opened it letting them both in. He closed the door behind them. April took off her coat and stood to face him. In what seemed like a split second they were kissing slowly, deeply almost as if they were finding another language to speak. Connor took his jacket off and let it hit the floor. He grabbed her face, her chin in his hands, and continued kissing her deeply and slowly trying to savor the taste of her lips. April slid her hand up his sweater feeling his skin then placing both hands on his waist. She pulled him closer to her and then down. Soon they were on the floor kissing furiously but just as deeply. April unbuttoned his pants and he tore off her underwear. He stopped a moment to look at her as he grabbed himself to enter her.

"Not there," April whispered.

She brought her hands up to her mouth and licked her fingers using them to moisten the tip of his dick she positioned it to enter her ass. She didn't expect to be seeing him, she didn't expect for him to be at her house and she didn't expect to be lying on the floor of her apartment having sex with him. She wasn't actually cleared yet to be having sex so her choice was just as unexpected to him as it was to her. It wasn't something she thought she would ever do but she wanted to and she needed to with him. Connor didn't stop looking at her as he slowly pushed himself inside her he didn't want there to be any ambiguity of how she eyes widened at the new sensation it was new and different but intense. She raised her mouth to kiss him again his kiss matched his thrusts slow but deep each stroke felt as intense as the swirl of his tongue. He began kissing her neck and she moaned, tightening her legs around him. Connor was watching her again as she began to writhe underneath him meeting his slow thrusts as her body allowed the pace to quicken. He matched her pace until he could see in her eyes that she was losing control moving quicker. The sensation was odd at first but even without direct stimulation April was starting to feel herself rise. Connor let out a long exhale and sped his hips up smacking against her skin brought his face down and began kissing her again, but the kisses were faster and more greedy than before matching his climax. They both came Connor releasing himself inside her for the first time without worry, fear,regret, or apologies. He pressed his forehead to hers they stayed there for a moment before he carefully slid off of her and lay on the floor next to her.

"I'm switching to the night shift," April said breaking the silence. She laid there staring at the ceiling.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable at work but if night's help…then okay," Connor answered also looking at the ceiling.

"I'm not switching to nights because of you Connor, I've decided to go back to school... to medical school; I'm going to finally be a doctor," April said smiling.

Connor smiled and turned his head toward her.

"That's amazing, you're going to be amazing," Connor said.

"You know my parents never intentionally tried to hurt me by encouraging my brother to go to medical school, knowing it affected my own dreams, it happened based off of old traditional ideals but it didn't make it any less devastating," April stated.

"And I know you love me Connor. I love you too and I know you never meant to hurt me when you slept with Sam but it didn't make it any less devastating," April stated, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the baby, I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I suspected, I know now I was in denial and it was extremely unfair to you," April said turning her head to face Connor.

Their eyes met and they stared at each other for a moment; the realization of this encounter, their last.

"I'm going to focus on school and really try and make my own dreams come true…..but that doesn't leave much time for anything else," April said regretfully.

"Yeah," Connor said mirroring her tone.

He zipped up his pants and she pushed the torn parts of her underwear off and maneuvered her dress down. They both got up.

"Then this is goodbye," Connor said somberly.

April nodded as Connor grabbed his coat.

"April I-," Connor began.

"-I know Connor... me too," April said.

He walked to her door opened it let out a small sigh and then left.

The End.


End file.
